chapter three

I run away. Pushing paparazzi and fans, I clean my way up. I’m rude but no one seems to notice that. All I want to do is escape. Karlie made me feel like shit. I told her not to kiss me in public but she did. I can’t believe. I run through New York streets, people stop, look at me, try to say something. I keep running. When I get to my apartment, I’m about to throw my lungs up. I have a problem with the doorknob, but finally I’m in my flat. I run to the living room and fall on the sofa. I’m about to pass out. My girlfriend ruined my life. I was supposed to have a photoshoot with her but she ruined everything. I don’t have to wonder if Max’s pissed off. I know he is. I ran away, instead of staying there and let him take a bunch of photos of Karlie and me. But I feel like my choice was good. My breath slows down. I grab my phone and call Ella. I cry, trying to explain her everything. ‘I told her not to show her emotions towards me in public, but she ignored me! She kissed me when everyone was watching! Oh my God, whyyyyy???’ Ella sighs. ‘Well Taylor, I’m sorry that that happened. She should apologise you. I’ll talk to her.’ ‘You promise?’ ‘I promise. She must apologise. You told her not to act like that but she did anyway. That was rude and disturbed your feelings. Don’t worry baby.’ ‘Thank you Ella. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’ ‘I can visit you.’ ‘No. I’d like to be alone for some time.’ ‘I’ll come anyway.’ I end call and curl up on the sofa. Ella comes 12 minutes later. When she appears at the door, I burst out crying. She puts me on the sofa and covers with pink blanket. ‘What happened?’ she asks. ‘Karlie and I are in relationship. And we were supposed to keep it in a secret. But SHE KISSED ME IN PUBLIC!!’ I cry. ‘Don’t worry.’ she hugs me. ‘But what would you do if you were me?! We’ll be on every magazine’s front page! I’d rather die than go out tomorrow.’ Ella thinks a while. ‘Maybe she wanted them to know.’ I don’t say anything. Ella gets up and goes to the kitchen. ‘I’ll make you a tea, okay?’ ‘Fine.’ I say. ‘But think what she feels right now. You ran away from her. You didn’t give her a chance to explain anything. You just ran away. That wasn’t right.’ ‘Oh yeah, and you DEFEND her! Great! My best friend is against me now!’ I can’t stop the sarcasm. It’s just coming out of my mouth. ‘Fine.’ says Ella. ‘I think I’ll go now.’ She walks away. Great. Now no one left. Or… I grab my laptop and google myself. I don’t usually do it, but I’m so thirsty. First thing I see is: SWIFTIES ARE IN DEEP SHOCK: KARLIE KLOSS JUST KISSED TAYLOR IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. Aha. TAYLOR SWIFT IS A LESBIAN? Oh. No. KARLIE KLOSS AND TAYLOR SWIFT IN RELATIONSHIP? PROOF-SEE PICTURES BELOW. ‘NO!’ I scream. ‘NO!’ It all has started. And I can’t stop it. All I can do is sit and watch. My phone starts ringing but I don’t care. I just stare at the monitor. It’s unbelievable. Those rumours will kill me. I sigh. And everything’s Karlie’s fault… At the same moment when I think of her, she appears at my door. I wrapped my arms around my legs and I sit on the chair, numb and quiet. ‘Taylor?’ I don’t react. ‘Taylor?’ she doesn’t give up. ‘What?!’ I hiss. ‘I’m sorry.’ ‘Yeah?? That’s your explanation?! ‘I’m sorry.’? You can do better.’ We sit in silence. ‘Why did you do this?’ I whisper. ‘I…’ Karlie hesitates. ‘I had to show the world.’ ‘Without telling me.’ ‘Without telling you.’ ‘Damn you.’ I get up and run out of my flat.

                I run. And run. Away. People look strangely at me but I’m sure they don’t know who I am as I run so fast. I just noticed that I’m barefoot. Great. It’s so fucking cold and it started to snow again. I’m shaking and I wrap my arms around me. People look even more strangely at me when I stop. ‘Look, that’s Taylor Swift!’ I hear. ‘What’s she doing?’ ‘She kissed Karlie Kloss.’ I can’t stand it anymore. ‘I DON’T FUCKING LOVE KARLIE OKAY? I STOPPED AFTER SHE KISSED ME! OUR RELATIONSHIP WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET! FUCK YOU ALL! I HATE YOU! I HATE THE WHOLE WORLD!’ I scream. I think of hypothermia and I go back home. I try to run but my joints refuse working. So I walk, what is very difficult. I had no idea that I came so far. My feet start to freeze when kneel on my knees and fall on the ground. Before I pass away, I hear someone calling emergency. 

chapter two

Some repeating noise wakes me up. I open my eyes, pretty sure that Olivia plays with the lamp. She likes to switch it on and off. And on and off. And on. And off. But that’s not her. That’s the doorbell. Unwillingly, I get up. I open up the door and see Karlie barely standing on her feet. Ella holds her, saying ‘You better take your girlfriend to the bathroom. She’s about to throw up.’ So I help Karlie get in and the same moment she takes a step into my hall, she pukes on the floor. Ugh. I’ll must clean this. ‘Why did you bring her here?’ I ask. ‘She was begging.’ Says Ella. ‘She told me that if I didn’t bring her to you, she’ll drink more. So I did.’ I sigh. ‘What should I do with her now?’ ‘I don’t know. Maybe tell her how much you love her…’ She says with a sweet voice. ‘Oh, damn you, Ella! I don’t love Karlie, and I’m pretty sure I never will.’ ‘Okay. Just saying.’ She goes out and leaves me with Karlie laying on the bathroom floor and her vomit material on the carpet. I pick Karlie up. ‘Now you have to wash yourself.’ I say. “I’ll go and clean the carpet.’ ‘Oh, sorry for that.’ She says suddenly. ‘It’s okay, but you can’t drink too much in my flat! It’s forbidden.’ I leave her to take a shower. I hate cleaning after vomiting, I swear. I sweep the floor and use a lot of detergent, but I still got that unpleasant smell in my nose. Karlie just goes out of my bathroom. She stole my robe. Great. I’m not kind of sharing-things-with-others person. ‘Have you got slippers which fit the robe?’ she asks. ‘Yes, but you can’t wear them. My flat’s not a hotel.’ I say. ‘Oh, Tay.. why you gotta be so cold?’ ‘Because I have hangover. Okay? And I’m a bit irritated by you being in my flat. And that whole kissing at the party thingy.’ We go to living room and sit on the sofa. ‘You got some nice films to watch?’ Karlie asks. ‘Yeah. But I’m not in watching films mood.’ I’m angry. Karlie came to my house uninvited, stole my robe and probably wasted a lot of shampoo. ‘Karls, my flat’s not a hotel. You can’t do what you want. Pretty sure you’ve wasted a lot of my cleaning stuff, haven’t you?’ ‘Taylor, why are you so mad? You’re my friend and we’ve always shared things with each other. What’s wrong with you?’ ‘Nothing!’ I say sarcastically. ‘You come to my house uninvited, drunk, waste a lot of my cleaning stuff and wear my private robe! And…that whole kissing thingy! I’m not a lesbian! I don’t know what have pushed me to kiss you! And what have pushed y o u to kiss m e! Seriously! Karlie, please just s t o p trying to make me love you, This is impossible! I’m straight! Definitely! End of a story. I’m gonna wash myself and please, make yourself comfortable, I don’t mind at all! Yes, you can live here! Sleep in my bed! We can fuck! Yes! That was your biggest dream! Are you happy now?! The Hunger Games trilogy on DVD is in a box under the TV.’ I run out of the room, get into the bathroom and slip on the floor. Yes, of course, Karlie didn’t even sweep the floor after she made it wet! What a bitch! My hatred to her is biggest than Nicki Minaj’s ass. I fill bathtub with litres of water, take my clothes off and throw them on the floor. I plunge my face in the water, let my body drown. I try to wash events of today away. The stress, hangover, Karlie’s declaration of love to me, Ella’s jealousy, kissing scandal. When my lungs are out of the air, I resurface my mouth just to inhale some fresh air and plunge again. I’m a bundle of nerves. I forget where I am and try to breathe and choke on water. I sit up immediately and breathe hardly, trying to spit the water out of my lungs.  I inhale and exhale the air, calming down. I twist my arms around my knees, and look around. Water’s actually everywhere. There’s more water on the floor than in the bathtub. I go out of the bathtub and take the towel. I sweep my body and realise that I haven’t got any clothes. I wrap myself with a towel and go outside the bathroom. Karlie looks at me, she looks worried. ‘What happened?’ she asks. ‘Did you try to drown yourself?’ ‘You’ll be drowned if you won’t shut the fuck up’ I say. That shuts her up. I go to my bedroom and dress up in Victoria’s Secret pjs. Then I realise how I met Karlie. On Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. So I put random t-shirt and shorts on. I lay in bed, listening to the sounds of the evening. Karlie is watching Mockingjay, because I hear my favourite part: IF WE BURN, YOU BURN WITH US. Ugh. Did she have to choose that film? In a state of complete hysteria I fall asleep.

                She wakes me up. I lay in bed, when I notice her face next to mine. She looks so innocent. Like an angel. My anger evaporates. ‘Karls…I’m sorry I shouted at you’ I say. ‘I know, Tay, I know. I accept your apologise.’ She touches my face with her fingers. ‘Close your eyes.’ she says. So I close my eyes. Karlie touches my eyelids, nose, chin. ‘You’re beautiful.’ she says. I open my eyes and see her big smile. I smile too. ‘You too.’ I say. ‘Can I?...’ I nod and Karlie kisses me. It feels so strange, to kiss a girl. I feel so many emotions during that kiss. From happiness to bitterness, uncertainty to desire. I really enjoy that kiss. Karlie stops and looks at me. ‘You’re such a good kisser.’ she says. ‘I don’t know. I think my kissing skills are average.’ ‘Definitely not! You made me feel so horny.’ No. ‘I want to do this with you.’ NO. ‘Right now.’ NEVER IN MILLION YEARS. ‘Karlie…I don’t think I’m ready for such things at such low level of our relationship.’ ‘So we’re in relationship? Holy fuck!’ She’s so entirely happy. I’m not sure. I sigh. I’ll get used to her. I wrap my arms around Karlie’s neck and kiss her for goodnight. ‘Now, sleep. Pretty sure we’ve got a photoshoot tomorrow.’ ‘I love you.’ says Karlie. I just smile. She falls asleep but I know that I will not be able to sleep. I get out of bed and go to the kitchen. I sit on a chair and look at New York.

                I remember my relationship with Harry. People wanted to get into our minds, to defeat us. We gave up and broke up. Will my relationship with Karlie be the same? Will people want to know everything about us, will they hate us? Not everyone accepts gay people. Some swifties are homophobic for sure. What will they think? And, now will I tell mum about this? She’ll be unpleased, for sure. She has always said that I should marry someone someday, but she’s never mention a woman. I don’t know. I stare at the night sky. Finally, after weeks of snow storms, I cans see the stars. They’re beautiful. They’re the most beautiful thing in the world. Karlie is that kind of star. One of millions, shining the brightest. I decide to not tell anyone about our ‘relationship’. I’ll leave it and see in what direction will it go. And then…

                I wake up. It should be very early, because the sky is still dark. I slept on the table. Oh great. Today I have a photoshoot for Vogue. I swear I look like a zombie. I sigh. I go to bathroom and look into the mirror. My hair’s a mess. Like always. My skin is pale, and I have dark rings under my eyes. I won’t fall asleep. I go to living room and look at the clock hanging on a wall. 5.57. Great. The best time to wake up. I make a coffee and think about Karlie again. AGAIN?! I think about her. A g a i n. I completely disagree with her. I don’t want to be in lesbian relationship. Definitely.

I dress up, put some make up on and go to wake Karlie up. ‘Wake up Karls!’ I scream. I shake her arm. She wakes up and looks at me accusingly. ‘I feel like it’s before 7’. ‘It is.’ I laugh. ‘We’ve got a photoshoot today!’ While Karlie is getting ready, I phone our photographer. He admits the address we have to go and the time-7.30. Punctually at 7 Karlie comes up to me and kisses my cheek. ‘Ready?’ I ask. ‘100%.’ She answers. We take a taxi, streets are finally clean. We reach our goal, white building on Manhattan. Our photographer, Max, waits for us. In last moment, Karlie takes my hand and kisses me. I think everyone blacked out.

 

chapter one

When I wake up, I feel unpleasant lamination in my head. I lay in bed, breathing hardly. I’ve got a dry tongue and feel bad overall. I look around my bedroom.  Weak light of the morning is leaking through the curtains. I force myself to get up. On my way to bathroom, I stumble on my cat, Meredith. She snorts and goes away. I shuffle on the floor, with every inch of my body hurting. Olivia, the white cat, sits on the toilet. I dismiss her and look into the mirror. That person is definitely not me. She has pale face, black rings under her eyes, and bird’s nest on her head. I wash myself and brush my hair, then dress up in random clothes and go to the kitchen. I turn  the radio on and call my cats. Everyone has to eat breakfast. I take my cats’ bowls and fill them with food for cats. Olivia comes and starts to eat, but where’s Meredith? Maybe she’s busy doing her usual stuff. The guy in the radio talks about the snowstorm outside. ‘Cars will not be able to drive for at least two days from now. The winter of the century finishes everything. Schools will be closed until the end of the week. Electricity may not function well in the evening, another storm is expected. Please don’t leave your home if this is not necessary; if you have to, take the tube.’ I turn the radio off after hearing the doorbell. I open the door and see Ella smiling like an idiot.

‘Hey.’ She says. I let her in. ‘How do you feel?’

‘Fine.’ I say. ‘Just hangover. I’ll be alive.’

‘Drank too much yesterday, huh?’

‘Maybe. Think two shots of vodka more and I’d be dead. Thanks for stopping me.’

‘It’s okay. Karlie is drunk as hell. She doesn’t even know what’s going on around her.’ Says Ella seriously. ‘And that’s the main reason I visited you. We have to go to her and make her more sober than she is.’

We stay in my kitchen. I offer Ella coffee, but she refuses. We just sit and talk.

‘So tell me what happened after I drank that champagne. I don’t remember that very well.’ I beg Ella.

She snorts. ‘I think Karlie and you kissed each other. I’m not sure, Lena was recording something.’

‘No…, that can’t be true. I would never kiss a girl.’ I say with a doubt.

‘So let’s call Lena on the way to Karlie’s house. Maybe she can send us that video, if she saved it.’ Says Ella.

Soon we go out. Good that the tube station is near my apartment, otherwise we’d never leave. Snow is falling hardly, wind blows and freezes us to our bones. Everywhere is snow. Everywhere. 6 feet hills of snow lie on pavements. There’s no traffic in whole New York since a week. Everyone’s so fed up.

We reach Karlie’s house. She lives not far from me, but snow covered everything so the only way to get here was the tube.

We find Karlie laying on the sofa. She’s sleeping, still has her sparkly dress on. Ella comes up to Karlie and slaps her cheek. She wakes up and falls on the floor. I sigh and help Ella pick Karlie up. We situate her on the sofa and let her continue sleeping.

‘Wow. You were right. She’s drunk as log.’ I say.

‘Oh well. Poor Karls. Let’s find her laptop.’

Ella called Lena when we were on the way to Karlie’s house. Lena admitted than she has saved the video from the party. She has sent it to Ella through mail and now we’re able to see it.

‘Where does Karlie keeps her laptop…’ I look for the computer. After I found it, Ella logs into her mailbox and finds the video. She clicks on it. Firstly, we see only black picture, but then I think Lena turned camera on and it shows Karlie and me. We drink champagne and dance on the table. Then something strange happens. I start kissing Karlie.

I cover my mouth with my hand. I can’t believe my eyes. I kissed Karlie. Ella is frozen as me. I was drunk, I don’t love my best friend! Maybe a little. But still…

I run out of the kitchen and stop in the living room.

‘What? Just realised how good was last night?’ Karlie asks.

‘I seriously can’t believe.’ I say. Karlie laughs.

Ella drops into the room and says ‘what did push you to kiss each other?’

‘Alcohol’ I say.

‘No! Tay, you excite me!’ Karlie screams.

I’m speechless. Seriously. I’ve never expected that. What would my family think if they found out that I’m friends with a lesbian? Or I’m a lesbian? Or… I don’t try to think about that. Ella looks pleased. ‘Well, why don’t you kiss each other now?’ she asks.

I sit next to Karlie on the sofa. She hugs me and looks at me with her sweet eyes. She looks at me questioningly.

‘No, Karls, not with Ella watching. Come to me tonight and I’ll think about it. I’m not sure if you excite me the way that I excite you’.

‘Well, okay’ she says. ‘Ella, will you pick me up?’

‘Yeah, of course.’ Says Ella indifferently.

I feel relief. I’ll have time to digest it all. Ella and I walk out and go tho the tube station. We sit on the bench, 20 minutes left to our departure. We sit in the silence when suddenly Ella asks ‘Did you enjoy that kiss?’ I laugh and think a while. ‘I don’t know, I was drunk!’

‘But generally.’ she urges.

‘Well…I think…yes, I enjoyed that kiss.’ I say finally.

‘Yay!’ Ella gasps. ‘So will you be in relationship now?’

‘Ella, I don’t know, seriously, everything is new for me so I really don’t know.’

Our train arrives and we have to get in. There are not so many people, I bet they’re at their homes. It’s pretty cold and snowy outside. After few minutes, the train stops on my station and I get out.

Then I stop pretending happy. I feel like zombie, I’ve got a headache, I’m dizzy. I’ve never felt more exhausted. I take the stairs to go out of the station. It’s even more windy than an hour ago. Snowflakes are bigger than usually, it’s colder than in the morning. I cross a few streets and I’m at home. All I want to do right now is go to sleep. I want to take the lift but it’s always broken. I sigh. They should do something with it. I open the door and throw my clothes on the floor. I go to bathroom and have a shower. I notice that I’ve lost a lot of weight recently, even though I don’t go to the gym that much. I fall on bed only in my underwear, I’m too tired to dress anything else. The last thing I remember before falling asleep is Olivia’s tail dangling from the bedside table.

 

Welcome to my blog!

Hello there. My name is Leah, but call me LeeLee. I ship Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss a lot so I decided to write a fanfic about them. Here, I present them as lesbians, though everyone knows that they're definitely straight. In my story will be described actual events, places and people, but some facts will be changed. I will try to post weekly, e. g. every Wednesday. 

At the end I want to say that English is NOT my first language, so if I make some mistakes here, please don't hate me. Everyone makes mistakes. 

I love you a lot, 

LeeLee